5 Simple Steps for Creating Inner Balance
What is the cost of staying the same? Doing what we have always done? Allowing ourselves to stagnate?
For some, the cost is an ongoing frustration with ourselves and with others. This can lead to feeling disappointed in life or our life circumstances, which can lead to more worry and more fear. When that is allowed to fester it can turn into resentment, anger, and apathy.
We can feel depleted, disconnected, and depressed. Losing our zest for life. Forgetting to feed our soul. Unsure how to shake or shed the tethers that keep us stuck.
Staying the same limits our growth and denies us from accessing our fullest potential. But you deserve to be your brightest, happiest, and most fulfilled self. (Guess what? We all do!)
Moving out of stagnation and into alignment with your highest and most authentic self can seem challenging or even too overwhelming, especially when you task yourself to try to create and maintain change on your own.
Normally, I prefer to drop hints and offer nudges so that you can get on your own, but today I am going to say it bluntly…
In this area of struggle, if you could create change on your own, you would have already done it. (Phew, there-- I said it.)
I am not saying change can’t happen in a self-directed and self-supported way. It can and does. I have read the stories of strangers. I have seen it in my friends, family, clients, colleagues, and even in myself. There are moments where we have wise clarity, determined focus, and endless energy to create positive change for ourselves in our own way. YAY!! We are super-human. We have grit. We have tenacity. We move forward on seemingly sheer willpower fueled by our internal fire. Those moments are awesome. Moments where our resilience and perseverance shine through and we prevail as an army of one.
But sometimes when it’s within an area of our deepest struggle, that isn’t the case. We can’t find the root or see the solutions. We can’t rally our inner warrior. We struggle with not only activating change, but also staying on course and remaining accountable to ourselves. We slip back into old habits. Negative or limiting beliefs resurface, leaving us feeling ungrounded and off balance. No longer feeling super-human, we instead feel diminished and uninvested in doing anything different.
However, what does remain? The desire to experience change. Questioning if something wonderful could be beyond staying the same. Wondering about the possibility of our own growth and expansion is possible.
I know if we are already working together, you already understand this. You see the value in support. You honor your inner wisdom, trusting when you can navigate it on your own or when you need to call in reinforcement. You appreciate having someone in your corner whose goal and motivation is for you to reach your goal. And you invest in yourself because you know you are worthy and deserving of becoming the best version of yourself.
If we aren’t working together, but stumbled onto this blog, know that you don’t have to remain stuck in stagnation. There is help and support available. You can determine what would feel like the best type of support. What type of practitioner or provider would be an ideal support for you. How and how often that ideal support would be delivered.
Here are some simple steps you can take to begin to shake yourself free from being stuck in the old habits and patterns. Possibly you will be very familiar with some steps and some steps may be new. Give yourself time to move out of the stuck state to return to balance. A state of balance that I call sacred balance.
Tips for finding sacred inner balance:
1. Prioritize yourself
Practice staying present. When we spend too much time worrying about the future or lamenting about the past we can create a plethora of unwanted and unhelpful negative thoughts and emotions. Bring your attention back to today and this moment. Staying mindful and present keeps us grounded and feeling more in control of our circumstances and outcomes.
Understand your energy and needs. Give yourself permission to slow down. Listen to your body and take action on what your body is telling you it is needing. Practice softening and soothing any pain points that have been activated.
Taking a break is still an active part of action. Our mind, body, and spirit needs rest, sleep, downtime, and time to integrate and recalibrate.
Energy tip: Create a daily practice of mindfulness (simply being aware of what you are experiencing in the moment) and set aside 3-15 minutes a day for meditation (either in silent meditation or guided meditation).
Try out activities that move energy, such as Tai Chi, Qigong, or yoga. Schedule a Reiki or chakra balancing session. Take a walk in Nature or connect to Nature in your own way. Create a self-care plan.
2. Know your “tells”
How do you know when you are depleted? Or stuck? What are the things (behaviors, habits, patterns) that you’ve always done. What are the results that let you know you are stuck?
What negative thoughts or old mindset creep back in as you slide back into stagnation? What are phrases you repeat yourself that feels like it keeps you stuck? What are triggering events, experiences, or people that seem to return you back to old habits?
What are your behaviors that are clues that you actively need to shift gears to get a result you are desiring? What are the new behaviors that could support inner balance?
Energy Tips: During your practice of quiet stillness or meditation, do a body scan and notice where you may be holding stress or other depleting emotions. Actively practice relaxing the body and set an intention to release any stuck energy.
Journal and note what triggers old behaviors, habits, patterns, thoughts, or feelings that knock you off-balance or keep you stuck. Use positive affirmations to assist in shifting to new mindset or instilling new beliefs. Outline for yourself, what you want to do instead of the old ways and what could increase your success in practicing new ways.
3. Review your goals
Understand the “why” for your goal or area that you want to experience personal growth with clarity before continuing to push towards your goal. Anchor in “the why” with an emotion or feeling word. Example: I want to lose weight. The “why” might be I want to keep up with my toddler and model a healthy, active lifestyle for my growing family. The emotion or feeling might be strength, motivated, determined, or resilient.
Give yourself permission to pivot or change your mind. No goal is ever set in stone or non-negotiable. Goals need to be reviewed, revised, retooled based on new information gathered or new insight gleaned from attempts to reach a goal.
Reshape your goals to fit your life, your lifestyle, your abilities, gifts, and talents. Make sure your goals are fully aligned with who you are and not just to fend off worries related to comparison or FOMO.
Energy Tip: Create a vision board, activating your intention for your goals.
Work with a practitioner, such as a life coach, who can assist in bringing clarity and accountability for your goals.
Move with the Moon’s lunation cycle. Set small goals for releasing unsupportive habits, behaviors, or thinking patterns at a Full Moon. Tend to your emotions and see what new perspective or clarity arises during the Full Moon. At the New Moon set small goals (intentions) for new habits, behaviors, thinking patterns, and experiences. Encourage, challenge, and take action with the New Moon. (check out my FREE worksheets HERE)
4. Set boundaries
Practice mindfully saying yes AND no. Know why you are saying yes, why you are saying no. Put a pause in between someone asking you a question and your response. Example might be: “That’s a great question, let me get back to you on that” or “Let me check my calendar, I want to honor your time and mine”.
Check in with yourself and see if people (including yourself) are honoring or not honoring your boundaries. Have open, healthy, and productive conversations about your expectations, needs, and boundaries. If inner or outer tension arises; step back and identify who actually “owns” the problem and determine who is responsible for the solution.
Remember setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is not only an act of self-care, but also supports healthy dynamics within relationships. It’s essential in healing people-pleasing tendencies and co-dependent or enmeshed relationships.
Energy tip: Create a practice of energetically preparing (or shielding) yourself and energy when engaging with challenging people or situations. Create a practice of releasing (or cleansing) yourself and energy after challenging or depleting experiences. Set an intention for experiences that support your highest good.
Practice healing relationships and ancestral or intergenerational trauma with a trauma-informed therapist, shamanic practitioner or energy healer.
5. Access social support
Practice giving yourself permission to ask for help and permission to receive support. You are deserving of both. If it doesn’t feel safe to ask or receive assistance, explore the root of where that might have come from—hint: usually from experiences with our family of origin.
This is your social safety net, your community, your tribe, if you do not have one—it’s time to start building one locally or online. It’s important to feel physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually safe with your support network.
Access and invite in your sacred support team of spirit guides. Spend time in meditation or simply connect with intention for support.
Tap into your support system to join you in laughter and fun. Take time to reinvigorate yourself.
Energy Tip: Take a spiritual, metaphysical, or energy-based class or workshop to build your tribe of other like-minded people.
Have a practice of forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others (as appropriate). For a deeper connection to others, engage in a loving kindness meditation, or the Ho'oponopono prayer.
Hopefully you can start to explore what you are needing to begin to create inner balance. It's a process, not an event. But with awareness and openness to heal and grow, you will be able to return to inner balance.
Wishing you balance,
Mary
To listen and watch this blog as a video and to receive a distance Reiki session for returning to balance, click HERE!
